cos you cant jump the track, we are like cars on a cable

i have more things to say, more secrets to reveal, more tales to speak of. however, i am a bit too intense lately, so today is just a light hearted post about puppydogs and ice cream. okay? i bought some black and white checkered vans and spent the day in san francisco with lynda. i wore my yellow bruce lee/kill bill jacket. it has a patch on it that says "vietnam veteran." we saw wedding crashers which had me LOLing the whole time.

a strange bum stared me down and i walked up to him and said, "GOT A PROBLEM???!" okay, no i didnt, but i did feel uncomfortable and walked past him in a hurry. oh yeah, some creepy crackhead guy asked out lynda. lynda wore a t shirt that said: "greet everyone like you greet your dog." so many girls were staring at lynda's chest. it made my day. i cant have ice cream due to the lactose makes me shit myself thing, so i went to tapioca express and had a mango slushee thing. zero calories. okay, not really, but i wish it was.

lynda and i argued and she pointed out how critical i am. i wont get into the details, but i am going to say that i like arguing when it is resolved. arguements let out all the truths and supressed emotions that sometimes need to be let out. i think we will be able to live together because we can reason with each other. arguing is natural. although its crazy that we argue like a couple when we arent even a couple at all.

i also vow from this day henceforth to be less critical. i cant really help being like that, so what i will really be doing is just keeping it to myself.

apparently, JT 5:11 "sugar coating is for cereal" is a bit much for the majority of people out there.

personally, i think it makes us all weaker to be so easy on ourselves and each other, patting backs and pulling punches. i want to be able to live in this world and get along with people, and since both my ex AND lynda have said im too mean, i will be a big enough man to say sorry and change.

it was deja vu. hearing lynda say the exact same thing as my ex. if they both knew theyd have a field day analyzing and talking about their insights into the soul of john tran. everyone expects the world of me and wants to be babied. but thats just how i feel. maybe im the baby and they are all putting up with ME. so either way, i am going to be "more nicerer." i can change. i can adapt. i can apologize.
also, my mother told me how my dad acts. and im becoming him. saying shit like "this is just how i am, take it or leave it." i dont want to be like him. i know he isnt truly happy. i dont want to be a stubborn old vietnamese man in an unhappy marriage with a family that isnt close and a spinster daughter and two wayward sons.

some light hearted post. i end up totally long winded and "emo/angsty" (two words i HATE the most)